The culture around self-care has become narrowly focused on treating yourself to things that you may not usually get to enjoy. Special dinners, desserts, massages, vacations, and even spa days may come to mind when thinking of self-care.
Self-care should go beyond these moments of comfort, to a lifestyle that is healing for yourself as well as those around you. Instead of going places and doing new things, self-care is often best served by leaning into gratitude for what you already have.
Gratitude is the practice of intentionally focusing on the positive aspects of life both big and small. Practice is key, as learning to focus on the “good” requires effort and consistency over time in order to truly benefit. Our brains are more keen to notice negative experiences and thoughts, and gratitude is the best way to counteract this normal experience.
Why does gratitude matter?
Gratitude has a powerful impact on mental, physical and emotional health. Harvard Health identified gratitude as providing exclusively positive benefits. The laundry list of benefits include emotional resilience, reduced stress and extended life expectancy, as well as improved mood, self-esteem, relationships and sleep quality.
Use these five questions to check-in with yourself and practice gratitude:
1. What do I already have that I am happy about?
• This shifts your thought away from what you don’t have to be present with what you already have. This gives us a little more control and comfort.
2. Are there people in my life I am grateful for?
• This is not about perfect relationships, but about sharing moments of connection with others. Some of the most beautiful experiences and lasting impacts can occur with strangers. From the kind words a stranger spoke to you, to connections you share with loved ones.
3. What challenges have I overcome that I am proud of?
• We have all endured hardships that have taught us valuable lessons, made us stronger and showed us that we are stronger than we thought. Reflecting on these wins remind us that even when things get hard, we can get through it.
4. What small moments have I had today that brought me joy?
• Life is full of many small moments of happiness. Focusing on those moments and feeling gratitude for them can shift our mood immediately. A warm cup of coffee, soft sheets to sleep on, a good hair day, a text from a friend, a smile from a stranger, etc. These moments matter — don’t overlook them.
5. How can I share kind words of gratitude to others today?
• The human mind is better served by thinking of others. Putting a smile on someone else’s face shifts our experience as well. Knowing that we can be the source of joy for others improves our overall well- being.
Self-care isn’t found in luxury; it’s found in perspective. Gratitude is the perspective that heals. Social media can encourage us to escape our lives or constantly chase what’s next, selling self-care with a high price tag. But gratitude teaches us something deeper — you don’t always need to pretend everything is perfect. You need to notice what you already have, appreciate moments of joy, and build on that. Gratitude is a lifestyle shift that can benefit you in the present and the future, improving not only your life, but also the lives of those around you. Develop an attitude of gratitude!