Coping with grief during the holidays

It’s the most wonderful time of the year — a phrase we hear everywhere during the holidays in music, ads and cheerful greetings. And for many, those words come with the magic of festive traditions and anticipation of family gatherings. But for others, this same phrase can feel particularly heavy.

When someone we deeply care about is no longer with us, the holidays can awaken unresolved grief that is hard to ignore. The missing laughter around the table, the empty chair, the connection that feels lost forever… all of it can make joy feel complicated. 

Mixed desires to celebrate with loved ones while continuously needing an opportunity to grieve is absolutely normal and completely valid. All of these complicated feelings can be hidden by the desire to not interfere with the joy of the season for others.

Instead of pretending our grief isn’t there, what if this holiday season we leaned into healing, rather than hiding? 

We have three tips to do just that:

1. Don’t carry grief alone 

Grief is one of life’s heaviest burdens, but it doesn’t have to be your secret. Sharing your feelings with someone you trust can be a powerful first step toward healing. One of our most powerful tools for healing is releasing through communicating. While it can be helpful to talk to loved ones when you're struggling, it may also be necessary to reach out to a professional for qualified support. Union EAP is here for you. We are available 365 days a year, 24 hours a day and 7 days a week even during the holidays. You don’t have to solve it alone!

2. Remember and honor them intentionally

Taking the time you need to remember anyone you’ve lost is a healthy way to lean into healing. Let them be a part of creating a tradition during the holidays — light a candle in their honor, share warm stories and positive memories about them, or maybe make a dish they loved. The key is not to dwell on their absence, but to celebrate their positive impact.

3. Offer support to others who are grieving

If you’re not hiding your grief, you can be a source of compassion and healing for others. Listen with an open heart and an attentive ear. Listening openly and intentionally allows the load to feel just a little bit lighter. Be the evidence that those who are grieving are not alone.

This holiday season doesn’t have to be just about ‘getting through it.’ It can be about healing through it with compassion, with support, and with the knowledge that grief and love are not opposites. They’re both reminders of the depth of your heart, and signs that you are alive and capable of profound connection.

“Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.” — Jamie Anderson